Luomo qua Luomo... qua Luomo

How many Vladislav Delays does it take to plug in a laptop?
Photo by koti.kontu.la

Luomo releases a new album, Paper Tigers, in less than a month, which an authorized outlet gave us a preview of last week. Relax, it's great. However, as we here at T.P.O. like to ask the important questions and as we are all Philadelphians, we wondered which of the three Luomo records (Vocalcity, The Present Lover, Paper Tigers) would win in a fight. Here's how we see it.

VC = Vocalcity
PL = The Present Lover
PT = Paper Tigers

Round 1

The bout's slow in the early going, the opponents sizing each other up. Finally, VC's "Market" connects as a right cross against PT's title track opener, pushing it back to the ropes. "Market" then proceeds to knee PL's "Visitor" in its vagina, rather negligible.

Round 2

PT collects its shit and teams it's "Really Don't Mind" with VC's "Class" to low bridge PL's "Talk In Danger."

Round 3

PL's slick as fuck "What Good" spits in the face of PT's "Cowgirls" before drop kicking it out the ring. It then attempts to fart on VC's "Synkro", but has to settle for a spinning back foot sweep.

Round 4

PL is completely gased after the failed fart attempt. PT and VC again see an opportunity to team up and this time be rid of PL. PT's "Wanna Tell" goes to work on the body, and VC's "The Right Wing" puts PL in "The Million Dollar Dream."

Round 5

The juggernaut that is VC's version of "Tessio" actually eats what's left of PT. PT, however, rather enjoys being eaten by "Tessio", so I guess everything works out in the end.

Outcome

VC by means of a "Tessio" wins by T.K.O. in the fifth round.

***** Tomorrow's a big night in town. Ratatat @ The Khyber. Serena Maneesh @ The First Unitarian Church. (scroll down)

There's also a Making Time on Friday. *****