From High On Olympus Zeus Hurled His Fire Down, And The Carnage Was Too Great To Describe

I really am so far behind this year. But all this recent talk about good dance music got the old juices flowing, and I set aside some time for catching up on (what else) DFA news this weekend. Thankfully so, because they are set to launch an unstoppable invasion, even with no signs of anything coming from staples The Juan Maclean or Black Dice anytime soon, the first wave of which is set for 6 August, on which date DFA will unveil a new subsidiary, DFA (Death From Abroad-- pretty self explanatory). The first two releases will be a new one from Mock and Toof and a reissue of an extremely rare 2005 single by a character named Altz. Both are exceptional (I really love the "this is for all the real motherfuckers" in the Altz track), and you can hear them at the DFA myspace page.

I didn't catch up too much on the Prinzhorn Dance School stuff, but I did enjoy the new track "Crackerjack Docker", and its accompanying video, also preview/listenable on the label's myspace page.

Next, in a year unfathomably (seriously no one saw this coming, right?) dominated by indie rock, like in surplus, like I just listened to the new New Pornographers and even that was good, new DFA act, Shocking Pinks, has managed to make a stand out even against all of this year's stand outs. If you don't take me at my word by now,

Download: Shocking Pinks - Blonde Haired Girl

Download: Shocking Pinks - This Aching Deal

(again only for seven days, because I refuse to shell out the $ for the upgrade.)

It seems that the main label will release singles by Holy Ghost!, Hercules and the Love Affair, and Still Going by the end of the year. I don't know if I'm entirely sold on Herc and TLA yet, but I love what I've heard so far from the other two. I think all of these bands have myspace pages with some samples up. Lindstrom and Prins Thomas used Still Going's "Still Going Theme" in their Essential Mix (see sidebar). If that's not enough, I guess there's a new Shit Robot track that you can listen to from a beats in space set from a couple of months ago, which even though I haven't heard it yet, is probably better than any Ed Banger track.

So there you have it. T.P.O. giving you a little advanced warning. Starting Aug. 6, look to the skies.

I Guess I'm The Only Writer On This Blog Staff That Capitalizes The First Letter Of Every Word In His Titles. Yes, Even The Articles.

The Bat's back

I haven't been out too much lately. Kinda need to recharge. But I used to go out alot, especially this past winter/spring. Why did I stop? Hipster nightlife music in Philly went stale. If you don't like Hollertronix, or Club (MT's preferred genre as of late), or really, really bad disco, or ?uestlove, or Britpop or "Sweet Caroline", you're pretty much fucked. I don't know if there ever was a time or place when it really was just about the dance music, maybe like the very nascent days of DFA and dancepunk, maybe now with DJs like Optimo and Tim Sweeney, but I don't think this ever really caught on in Philly. I think it's always been scene first, then "phillying" the shit out of the scene. Now part of "phillying" is that you have to do everything just harder and so lots of drugs started getting done. Now I know Optimo loves the snow too, but they're just so many light years ahead of the rest of us, they can do whatever they want, but I really think the drugs, and the Philly mentality, the urge to freak out, the urge to be dirtier/sluttier chic, and therefore, paradoxically, somehow more of a pure hipster than the polyester shirt/sport coat clad one, and a lack of care about dancing in general, all together, have created this void of really good, which I would say would be both extremely eclectic and cutting edge, dance music nights in our city. Let me just say to all you fucking Philly DJs who might read this and be like "Hey, I'm cutting edge", no you're not, and you need to pay attention.

***Class In Session***

Here are some songs that I have not yet heard in Philly clubs, that if you want to be the next best thing in Philly DJing you should start playing.

1. Lenny Kravitz - Are You Gonna Go My Way?

If you play it, they will dance.

2. Daft Punk - Revolution 909

Still in my opinion Daft Punk's best dance song. Still haven't heard anyone play it.

3. Matthew Dear - Dog Days

Now's the perfect time people.

4. Medeski, Martin and Wood - Bubblehouse

I want to talk about this one for a second-- this song really being the quintessence of what I'm talking about. Here is a song that you've probably never heard at a party, but has enormous potential, that has rock and house and funk all combined, that you can freak out to, but also geek out to. I guess nobody in Philly ever listened to MMW that much or, again, none of DJs have the gift of foresight, of how many light years ahead of itself this song still is, the gift to be enlighteners.

5. Kaito - Color of Feels (Album Mix)

Once or twice, the Making Time guys have dropped Gui Boratto's "Beautiful Life", to surprisingly results, the crowds being more than receptive, but this Kaito track of the same pretty, micro trance-y type genre, so shits on the Gui one. It's so pretty it could deep freeze ya, but somehow can still be danced to, leaving you cold and hot at the same time, and generally feeling great.

6. Paperclip People - Parking Garage Politics

A classic, plain and simple.

7. N.E.R.D. - Things Are Getting Better

You may have never heard this one, but it too is a classic, plain and simple.

8. The Rapture - Sister Savior

Philly says, "With all the other bangers The Rapture have made, you want to hear that?" Just so we're clear, I'm not talking about any remixes either.

9. Spektrum - May Day

If you want bangers, here's a good one.

10. !!! - Heart of Hearts

Why hasn't this song been played at a Making Time? Seriously?

There's so much more, so much dirty disco, and funk, and hip hop, and rock. Trust me, city of mine, there's music to get people moving and shaking and freaking out and just having fun and enjoying their youth other than Baltimore House (isn't Philly supposed to scoff at Baltimore anways) and Nu Rave.

If our parents did this with "The Neverending Story" I would probably have a meth habit by now

Excerpt from a Harry Potter fanbase mothers group. Republished with author's permission for the use of TPO.

"The world of Harry Potter is a place where the mundane and the marvelous, the ordinary and the surreal coexist. It’s a place where cars can fly and owls can deliver the mail, a place where paintings talk and a mirror reflects people’s innermost desires. It’s also a place utterly recognizable to readers, a place where death and the catastrophes of daily life are inevitable, and people’s lives are defined by love and loss and hope — the same way they are in our own mortal world." - New York Times July 19, 2007.

Good morning all,
Just some words from the morning paper I thought summed up and also opened up our discussion from the past 4 weeks. Tomorrow, or rather midnight tonight our families will open the last new pages of Harry Potter!! When you first opened a book in this series, chances are your little wasn't even a glimmer in your eye .

Haha, I'm sure I was in a coffee shop with a fancy latte, a magazine, and 2 hours to kill... those were the days.
For we in the Seven and Under of this webgroup, our children came into a world already entraced with Pottermania.

Moving on. It was the steam blast that allowed me to come to grips with THE issue. Ladies, when your 6 yr. son is known to be in a now "frozen zone," a book about wizarding becomes a non-issue.


For the past three weeks we have been discussing (with threads rather heated. sorry on my part, Diane!!:0 )

Yes, Harry Potter may die in this next novel.
Yes, the most recent movie is far too graphic for his younger audience.
Yes, we may feel un-safe from spoilers tonight at the book release at B&Noble tonight.

To those who wish to keep away from the release party for fear of shouters/spoilers/rabllerousers... will you let these sour apples spoil the butterbeer? If we bring games for the line waiting, snacks, and trivia coloring books (donated by Jodie Trilling) I feel confident we can make this a wonderful experience for our children.
I
encourage you to dive in and join the fun.


To address the J.K. Rowling advisory against taking under sevs to the current flick: we are all in this for the childrens literature and not media-angling (and sexualizing)...
NOT UNDER SEVEN! Take 'em to Ratatooile!!

Hopefully we can keep this meetings going as we close the final pages of book seven.
See everyone tonight, costumed and excited, at Barnes and Noble- 14th at 5:30pm!

Wingardian Leviosa!!!!

France and Her Influence On Just Society

In this story, it is noted that the French public wishes its right-wing President would quit embarrassing the country with his constant jogging.

Some say that the anti-aristocracy movement in France was the ideological model for the American Revolution. There can be no doubt that the material support from France was integral to the success of the eventual rebellion. Say what you will about the motivations behind French intervention, but if it weren't for that beacon, America may never have found her way.

Granted, it is difficult these days to give much credit to the men who fought to free the colonies. Things have turned out so poorly, after all. It is all too easy to forget that America was not always the global epicenter of hateful capitalist prick behavior; it may even seem that blustering, dismissive self-proclaimed ruling class ponces are an American invention. It's not so.

There have always been rich people who love to cheer for winners. There have always been people who won't ever shut up about the afterlife. Lying newspaper columnists, sinister executives, wretched bishops, uninformed students and rapist soldiers have been right there to take part in every Republic there's ever been.

America has, quite simply, forgotten how and why they ought to hate the right wing. Somehow, United States society has allowed its conservative dickheads to worm their way out of the stigma that they deserve. The accumulated scorn that ought to tarnish their principles seems to have rubbed off, ever so gradually, such that they sometimes pass for just as good as any other. Mercifully, France is still there for us, to remind us of the way things ought to be.

You turn up your nose at hunting. You poke fun at NASCAR, and you snicker when someone orders grits. You shake your head when you overhear someone's cartoonish xenophobia. That's not enough. What this country needs is for its bravest, most independent citizens to speak what they know to be true. Tell them: business and enterprise are for assholes. Ignorant old people are shameful. Going to church is pathetic, and the Army is full of douchebags. Conservatism as a whole is a cowardly fallacy, and, yes, joggers are dicks. As a culture, we remember these things, somewhere deep down. Let our minds recall the wisdom of a brighter day. Let us look to France for strength.

The next time you hear a guy say that you can't argue with success, the correct thing to do is to spit in his face.

Called It!

... Interpol-- hey the first record was great, the second good, there's no reason not to be stoked for the new record, except of course if you believe there's a strict rule that says indie rock bands have five year shelflives. -- Me 5/23/07

... five year shelflives or three records or a major label deal.

The Politics of Indie Rock

Here and, well, here you go.

It's politics, baby, pure and simple. Arguments can be made on both sides, and usually the smart ones take a little from both camps and fall into wise moderation. Usually, I try to be one of the smart ones. But sometimes one side runs amuck, and the other side must stand tall and check the fuck out of it. Case in point, the Republican party right now. For a while, I agreed so much with one Republican ideal (the dissemination of government power to state and local levels) that I actually voted for George W. in the 2000 elections. Now though, all I say about Republicans is "Fuck those assholes." They've run amuck. The Indie Rock Establishment, Pitchfork, and to a lesser degree Stylus, have turned into Republicans.

It's a lot to put on a review of one band, one record, but I think it's all too tragically what has happened. When I read reviews that focus on album art and live Fort Lauderdale (???!!!) shows from two years ago as much as the record's content I get very upset. Too many reviews are spending too much time contextualizing a band's most recent release. Just once I'd like to read something different, a record review of a band such as Interpol with no context whatsoever, one that deals with that release alone. A great chunk of the marks, 6.0, D, I think comes from relating the new record to Turn On The Bright Lights. Proving that the record sucks in and of itself leaves no room for debate.

But I don't want to drift from the politics idea. An indie rock god turns its back on all things indie; signs a major deal; starts playing shows at venues like The Borgata; starts "embarrassingly" writing lyrics advocating threesomes. It's so fucking indie rock to think that people should feel embarrassed for wanting to have threesomes. Ha, just so you know where I stand, I want to have threesomes all the time, regardless the make up of the lineup, one girl though, no homo. I haven't had a threesome yet (I have to reread that The Game chapter about the massage) but it has to be hilarious. Watching, hearing other people in real life doing it, having them watch and hear you do it, the facial expressions, the moans-- you'd have to be in stitches the entire time. Banks knows that indie rockers are going to cringe at "Threesome's" lyrics. But it seems to me he's testing indie rock's devotion to his band, brilliantly knowing the stubborn adherency of indie rock to its tenets (the immorality of the threesome) and also brilliantly knowing that he doesn't need Pitchfork's or Stylus' audiences' support anymore. "Rest My Chemistry" is an even better example. Paul Banks doesn't "not-fuck" the just slightly cute-nerdy glasses wearing girl from the coffee shop, he "not-fucks" superhot model/groupie types who probably, more like definitely as I've come to find out how much all chicks really love to do blow, which is to say hilariously and all too ironically, just wanted to fuck him for his cocaine. It turns into one big gag, and I love gags. I thought indie rock did too. Guess that's only when it can be in on the jokes, not the butt of them.

Politically speaking, Pitchfork and Stylus should have taken the indie community's backlash on the chin for a band who made a record (Turn On The Bright Lights) that probably helped make the websites what they now are, and dished out high marks for the new record, regardless of what they acutally thought about the record, just so that they could say to people like me "this isn't about politics." Objectively speaking, they should have tried to change as Interpol has: less serious, less morally pure of heart. No, fuck you, indie rocker who is reading this, you do think things like "I am so morally great. My love is such a pure love." I know, I used to be really into that shit too. But as I've aged, I've found out that mindset isn't really mine, it's that of the establishment's, one that wants to control you, oh yeah, and one that never gets you laid, snatches your youth and vitality from you, speeds up the aging process, leaves you weak and incapable of rebelling. I'm not saying you might not be one of the lucky ones to have stumbled across true love in your twenties or even earlier, but chances are you're not, because news flash, chances are you'll never find true love, just an approximation of it. You can also find that when you're 30-35. Historically, what has been the easiest way to control the masses? Bullshit morality, see Catholicism and the Republican party. Now see Indie Rock. See our youth getting fucked or rather not getting fucked by being told not to enjoy a harmless, catchy, big, orchestrated, "for the kids", rock record.

Running With Dave P

Everybody that knows me knows this: I love shitty food. But I'm also trying to get in shape, cause well, I like skinny girls. I know that's awful, at least I'm honest. Wait a sec though, it's the fact that skinny girls only get with skinny guys and are making me work out like crazy that's truly awful. I guess skinny girls are great and awful. So it goes. Anyways, I've reached an impasse. I can't get any more in shape than I currently am without changing my diet, but I'm working out so hard that the only way I can satisfy the appetite I build up is with greasy Greek food. Or, I stuff myself with Greek food and look at myself, and see how disgusting Greek food makes me look so I think that I better go for a run later in the day, so that I don't ruin my chances of getting with a skinny girl. This latter set of circumstances was the context in which Dave P and his girlfriend, Patty, ran into me on Kelly Drive.

Dave: Snake? Yeeeeaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!

Me: Holy Shit! Holy Shit...

Dave: So what do you do?

Me: Well, I just came over to do something light. I just finished stuffing my tits with some greasy Greek chicken fingers and mozzarella cheese fries, smothered in ketchup of course...

Dave: ...

Me: So yeah, just something light. But hey, we should run together. I never get a chance to run with anybody, so let's do it.

Dave: Rad!

And we were off. We did a warm up along Boathouse Row, I'd say a nice 5.0 mph. Everything was great. I was running with Dave P. He talked about Daft Punk and Booka Shade and new tracks, and I tried really hard to not only remember all this stuff, but also to not burp too audibly. Dave exchanged pleasantries with almost everyone we passed, and they all either returned in kind or actually knew him. I was quickly reminded of how lucky Philadelphia is that New York or Chicago or Berlin hasn't taken this guy from us yet. Somehow unbeknownst to me our pace had shot all the way up from 5.0 to like 6.7 mph, which is cutting it pretty close to my limit. I had definitely begun to burp audibly, which prompted Dave to ask me, "How are you holding up? You know you're burping right?" "Me (gasp for breath), fine (another grasp, burp). You?" He was doing just fine.

We reached the agreed upon halfway point of the run, the 1 3/4 mile marker just past the grandstands, turned around, and began heading back. Harsh fate had actually granted me a second wind, or a little bit of digestion, and coming off the downhill from the grandstands I was actually able to up the pace a little to let's say 7.1 mph. Dave of course had no problem with that. Everything was fine until somewhere between the 1 1/4 and 1 mile markers. Suddenly, I felt my stomach simply drop. I began slowing down, panting, and burping, and what was worse, visibly holding Dave back. I dug deep and pressed on a little longer, however, right before the 3/4 marker I let out what would have been a room-clearing burp, accompanied by the extremely rare simultaneous fart, though thankfully the burp drowned it out. Dave looked frightfully over and I was already waving him to go ahead without me.

He thankfully took off like the Road Runner. I was slightly worried that maybe he had heard the simultaneous fart. As I jogged back along Boathouse Row though, I saw that Dave, now rejoined by Patty, was waiting for me. I frantically apologized for holding him up, and burping, and he replied in typical Dave fashion, "Dude, loved running with you, let's do it again. You should totally get some better running shoes though. I don't know how you run in those things. Hey, I'm going to this house party around here later tonight. You should come."




Btw, I'm going to this, so...

Download: Dan Bensons Project - (Skinny) Ladies Get On The Flo'

This Could Be The Beginning Of The End, But Dammit, I Like T.I. Vs. T.I.P.

I don't want to say that T.I.'s freaked out by white people, but he might be. Do we really make faces like that? I would be scared too


Not going to go here (Okay, I have to admit it, I don't dislike "Independent Women"), I'll just tell you how I hear it, no generalizations or vagaries. I don't know anything about T.I.'s previous records or singles, and I really don't care. I'm talking about the new record only. It's really smart. It's a record that can win a Grammy, while maintaining its street cred. I really think this record may actually be a watershed moment for rap. Factions have emerged, either you're into trap, or party, or backpack. But this record is sometimes all three, and it really may be the genre's first and only record to achieve such universality. "Act III: T.I. Vs. T.I.P. The Confrontation" reveals it best. Here T.I. is schizophrenic. He concretizes the struggle between an inveterate need to keep it hood (T.I.P), and the rational desire to not get shot and enjoy the wealth born out of his hardship (T.I.). The result, with a little bit of inference, is that T.I. makes a better philosophical point than any backpack song ever could: the struggle needs to occur, an individual such as T.I. must live both ways of life, he needs to achieve a balance.

There's also this really great party rap song on the record, it's called "Show It To Me." No surprise it features Nelly, and it's simply about asses. Can't wait for the video.