Letters To The Editors: Philadelphians React To Being Named "Least Attractive"

Over the past few weeks, TPO has received many strongly worded letters from readers objecting to the recent condemnations in the international media of its citizens' taste and culture. Today we are excerpting some of the best of the mailbag, with the aim of covering the whole spectrum of these objections.


"We are talking about a city where in my neighborhood, designated as a resurgent mecca for artists and daring young couples, every single one of the people who live on my block is a tubby balding dumbass who walks around in sweatpants all day with about four huge dogs that get fed ground beef, and all the sidewalks are so covered in shit I'm afraid to wear nice shoes. Every guy who starts a conversation with me is wearing some kind of clothes he got on sale three years ago. The best attended nightlife event is Bloodbath spinning Madonna and Hall and Oates at Silk City, and half the people there look like they listen to metal. But still, do you really believe we're lamer than, say, Omaha?"

Caitlin Bergstrom, Fishtown


"The problem is ladies who had to eat a lot to get their ass that big who do not cover up their chest and stomachs when they go out. Also, it does not help one bit that they wear tight jeans with their tank tops and other little shirts. It does not matter where you are from, Philly to Dubai to France to Senegal, when you are in the Gallery you do not want to see ladies with their big bodies hanging out their shirts, or stuffed into a halter top looking like the girl is stealing ice from the A-Plus. I am not surprised that all over the world people are talking about Philly ladies not knowing how to look good."

Michael Gamble, South Philadelphia


It is no secret that Philadelphia's geographical conjunction with the Tastykake factory, in addition to Entenmann's, Stroehmann, Herr's and Utz production and distro hubs, made it virtually inevitable that we fall prey eventually to an obesity epidemic. And we wonder why so few Philadelphians are "attractive." Whole generations of Philadelphia-born men and women have come to regard Tastykake as an "ultimate" dessert, just as they regard Herr's as "our hometown" chip. Eating these foods, for us, is a way of investing in the community.

Some will go so far as to eat two or three fruit pies back to back, a whole box of Pop'em© donuts, or even an entire pound of thick-cut kettle chips during just one night of television watching, in the course of their laudable but misguided efforts to support Phillies advertisers, help keep factory jobs local, and so forth. The bargain prices and virtual ubiquity of these companies' superior products only worsen matters. In our search for answers in the wake of this epidemic, we cannot overlook the impact of the greater Philadelphia snack empires on our diets, minds and morals.

Bob Iacovetti, Lehigh Valley Professional Park


"I am sure they spent all their time downtown where all the bank ladies are walking around, and all those art school girls with metal in their face and big trees tattooed on their arms and shit. The problem is that all the girls who go to the gym and dress fashionably and all that are from the suburbs and South Jersey, or go to Villanova or Penn State, and I guarantee they did not go out to West Chester and see some of the model hot girls that go there on weekends. No doubt they went to some place in Olde City where everybody is dressed like a vampire and drinking wheat beer. Somebody bring those dudes to Brownie's next time and then they won't have shit to say about where the good looking people are at."

Evan Graveley, Havertown


"I feel that this criticism does not apply equally to every neighborhood and the study is flawed. There is nothing wrong with the health or attractiveness of my children or those of my friends and family here in East Falls. It is not our fault, for instance, that we are able to maintain strong recreational sports programs but other neighborhoods cannot. In communities like here and Roxborough, our volunteer coaches keep our children busy after school. Every hour that my sons spend at baseball practice is an hour that I don't have to worry about him wandering into less desirable areas and their thug lifestyle of Oxycontin drugs and "low-low" prison pants, no steady job, bad eating habits, and no respect at all for our laws and law enforcement. Some of us are doing our part and we deserve respect."

Grace X. Schultz, East Falls


"It's not pretty out here, but it's real. If you act up you are bound to get knocked and everybody knows it. When we are here, we lay low, because you are not going to get hit for something nobody knows you got. I guarantee nobody came and saw us tear up the Borgata like we do. That is when the jewelry comes out, and that's when we bust our stacks, all that snow, everything. There ain't no way they'd talk that way if they saw how we do. Real Philadelphia pimps know that jealous cats in this city will stick you up daily because this is a city where the jealousy and hatred never stops. We save our shine for where peoples can let us shine a little bit, Jersey, NYC, Miami, wherever."

Ryan Wierkiewicz, Andorra