Maybe I Am Gay

Even though I'm like the one to the left


"A month after I'm supposed to care, it's still kind of unbelievable to me how little NYC disco made it into Zach's poll or the other one...

... I really hope Antony Hegarty is enough of a hook here to backdoor increasingly uptight indie rock circles--who I couldn't care less whether they actually liked the record, just that they know it would be a good look if they did...

... but the point is this album is very lush, very (for lack of a better word) expensive-sounding, just so enormous, made to play the Big Room, made for a time when records like "Blind" did in fact play those Big Rooms...

... Right now those Big Rooms are, EMI assumes, only in the EU and UK, which (from what I understand) might be why EMI still hasn't figured out a US release for H&LA. It makes sense as a European dance-pop act, but US pop has hip-hop and dancerock on the mind..." -- Nick on the new Hercules And Love Affair record

By now I think you know what I would have to say about the H&LA record, if not, then it would basically go: "This will be my absolute favorite record of the year." And it will be. So, instead, I'm going to latch on to something posed by Nick and focus it on my own locality. Why does Philadelphia so abhor NYC disco?

For our time New York City is the Center of the World, both financially and culturally. Envy follows such status. Hating on NYC may be a universal sentiment, but believe me, it is particularly strong in a city, which for some unfathomable reason detests being labelled "The Sixth Borough". As if we deserve such lofty praise. By so fervently attempting to establish a unique identity my city has actually ruined any chance of doing just that.

How do you vituperate the axis of the world, Philadelphia? You condemn it as pretentious and smart and expensive and gay. I have already said enough about the gay thing here, and I can't believe more hasn't been made out of it, not that I expected anything, but really, having such a large gay population, we should be ashamed about it. The expensive thing, you can't hack it in New York, the pretentious and smart stuff, you're too stupid and insecure for it, city of mine.

All of the disco acts and tracks that Nick cites in his post are extremely prententious sounding, true, but they overcome it by being very very good. All the arguments I've heard against New York disco in Philadelphia, and this comes from the very top of our hipster food chain, basically condemn it as "dorky and gay", "pussy shit", "faggot music." Well, if that's what you want to call the new Hercules And Love Affair record, Philadelphia, can you please shove your dick up my virgin ass?

The one word that I really want to focus on is "dork". Most hipsters were probably at some time in their lives dorks, most likely in school years. After school, with complete freedom to choose friends and form cliques, hipsters isolate themselves. So insulated, they gain a false confidence, and all too quickly forget the hardships they endured, the fact that they were, almost in a sense innately, dorks. They become like all the jocks and cool kids before them, circumspect and insecure, overly concerned about their appearance. They don't dare to "dork" out on a dance floor. They live on the knife's edge. Philadelphia hipster dance clubs are SO stale at this point-- NYC disco almost entirely absent from everyone's rotation. Consequently, nothing spontaneous or FUNNY ever happens on the floor. The same people talk to each other over and over about how good they look and whether they were able to get tickets to the Cobra Starship show. Most hipsters, at least from what I've experienced personally, currently, in Philadelphia, are actually hypocrites.

Why bring all this up? The survival of NYC disco is at stake. "Blind" hatred is suffocating it. Hercules And Love Affair does not at present have a US release! What place other than Philadelphia, if we could finally smarten up and dissolve our prejudice, could better boost NYC disco? Which brings me to the close. Right now I can think of only three others in the city that truly love the record. Two of us four are Broadzilla DJs. Let's start to set things right, Philly, tonight.