Want some?
True Story
Look like "The Oracle" from The Matrix.
Smell like egg farts.
Place two "looseys" in your left hand. One between your index and middle fingers, the other between ring and pinky fingers.
Pace around the coffee shop uneasily.
Approach the counter, say absolutely nothing, take two steps left to where the bananas are located. Stare at them. Leave.
Return. Ask for a cup of water. Be told, "there's a pitcher of ice water on the server in the middle of the floor. Help yourself." Leave water-less.
Return. Ask for a cup of water. The counterperson gives you one. Take two steps to the left. Stare at the bananas. Leave.
Return. Approach counter. Say absolutely nothing. Do a few laps. Re-approach counter. Say nothing. Take two steps to the left. Stare at the bananas. Leave.
Return. By now you'll have pissed off / scared the counterperson sufficiently that he / she'll want to get rid of you. Approach counter. Be told to leave. Leave.
Return, smelling like egg farts and the ocean. Approach the counter. Take two steps to the left. Stare at bananas. Leave before being told to.
Return. Approach the counter. Be told to leave for good or face the cops. Stand still for a couple seconds as considering. Lunge for bananas. Snag one and make a break for it. Run two blocks.
Return, causing everyone there to think that you are harmless, just completely off your rocker. Be forced out of the shop. Enjoy banana.
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