Things I Learned By Going Out With Old High School Friend Matt Tinari To Monday Night's King Britt's "Back to Basics" Party @ Silk City
1. That no matter how many Ricardo Villalobos songs and Canadian Indie Rock records I listen to, I will never be able to say "jazz is dead."
2. Corona Light is just as good if not better than Corona extra.
3. That when you ask for a Corona at Silk City, you get a Corona Light. It's like they're taking it on themselves to inform you about Light. That at Silk City, which I also realized is just another name for Utopia, they know better than you-- "hey, we know the customer is always right, but just try this and tell us it isn't better." I wish I could, but really, I can't.
4. That the guy who owns the Silk has worked really hard, not to mention has also spent a lot of money, perfecting his fake Jeffrey "The Dude" Lebowski look, and has succeeded unlike any I've seen before. A 10.
5. That, while we're on the topic of fakes, that Miss Kathy Diamond is definitely a Universal Donor.
6. That everyone who was 16-20 circa 2000 in going to this party is desperately trying to capture one last remnant of the awesomeness of the Philly Neo Soul movement that they were too young to experience at its prime.
7. That this is still very much possible in our city, either because of those that were responsible for the movement in the first place, like ?uestlove, showing up and still clearly supporting the scene, or because going out en masse on Monday nights is just how we do.
8. That ?uestlove likes talking on his cell at Silk City about 1/16-20 as much as Diplo Pentz, and the fraction's only that large because it's a way out of dealing with the entire white portion of the crowd that still feels obliged to give him props.
9. That ?uestlove and I have something in common: we both love putting tons of Tobasco in our soup.
10. That if you go to this party there's a chance that DJ Jazzy Jeff will swing by and you'll get to watch him play the drums.
11. That DJ Jazzy Jeff can really play the drums.
12. That you're allowed moreover encouraged to bring your own instruments with you to the party and air play along with the band.
13. That doing so will get your dick absolutely shredded by the hottest girl in the place.
14. That that $500 leather pants and haircut guy that I was only sorta enviously ripping in that Bloodbath post goes to Silk City every night of the week, solo if he has to.
15. That even when this guy shows up without any friends I still dislike him.
16. That there's something that I have yet to understand about Silk City as to how it can draw a steady crowd every night of the week, and that it has to be more than just the location.
17. That the enormous bouncer from Fluid hangs out at this party. The very same man who once had to carry a stupefyingly drunk and dislocated-kneed me from the floor of the Vitalic live show.
18. This:
(Pharrell's "Can I Have It Like That?" has to be the best song for this.)
19. That Matt Tinari went to elementary school with a girl who does it.
20. That it's kinda stupid. That dancing in the same manner without the hula hoop would be much funnier. That hula hoops can be too serious.
21. That the awesome bum who works the Silk City/Transit beat, the very same bum who once saved me from a $75 parking ticket before a Making Time, who by the way wins without doubt Best of Philly Bums 2007, goes by the name Freddie ("like Freddy Krueger") Lloyd.
22. That bums have email accounts.
23. That bums like Freddie who are genuinely polite about the whole thing-- Freddie struck up a good 15 minute conversation with us about hula hoop girl before blessing us and asking us for some CHANGE-- deserve some cash, and that you'd have to be an extremely cold person not to throw him a buck or two.
24. That there weren't any cold people attending this party. That one person described the night as "good vibes."
25. That if your alternator/starter/battery dies while at a Silk City party, Freddie Lloyd would be more than happy to set up your jumper cables.
